The Transition: Life After the Military

Transitioning to civilian life after spending close to three decades in the military is often filled with unexpected challenges. The previous stories by CSM Angels Refuge have been about men who spent a short time in the army and, at some point, became homeless. This is not always the case, as seen in our latest spotlight.

For one retired army veteran, his journey home was overshadowed by legal troubles stemming from a domestic violence accusation. Today, we delve into his story of redemption and recovery as he works to reclaim his life and reputation.

Transitioning from military life has its obstacles, as Gary Williams has learned. Throughout his journey, he has remained steadfast in his pursuit of normalcy. Two things that bring him peace and provide a positive space are time with his children and grandchildren, as well as his volunteer work with our agency.

Continue reading to discover more about his journey and how his volunteer work with CSM Angels Refuge has contributed to his path to redemption and recovery.

Transitioning to Civilian Life Isn’t Always Easy

Gary Williams is what many would refer to as a career military man. Williams is 57 and has given 29 years of service between the Army Reserve and the Army. He reached the rank of E7 as a Sergeant First Class. He is from Atlanta, Georgia, and returned there after his time in the U.S. Army came to a close.

During his military service, he spent tours of duty in various locations throughout the United States, including Alaska. He has also been stationed in Europe and Korea. “My wife accompanied me to Korea. My oldest son visited for a year.” He tells me.

“I did about six tours. I did the first one, Desert Storm. I wasn’t in Kuwait, though. Everything that happened after Desert Storm, I was a part of it.” He says.

Following decades in a structured environment, such as the Army, transitioning into civilian life can feel intimidating. Veterans often experience a sudden loss of routine, which can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Between 44% and 72% of veterans experience stress when transitioning to civilian life. Veterans often struggle to find meaningful employment, as they seek jobs that match their unique skills and experiences. Other factors can include mental health issues, particularly Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). These obstacles can complicate reintegration, as statistics indicate that upwards of 20% of veterans who served in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars experience PTSD.

Mental Casualties of War

Serving in the military during an active war is a horror that many soldiers never overcome. For Williams, the casualties hit different as a father.

“You know, you go there, you lose soldiers. Two of the main things I lost at the time were two female soldiers, both 19.

“It feels like it was yesterday, cause they were the same age as my daughter. She’s going to have her 31st birthday here in a few days. I just put that together.” He adds, realizing the young soldiers' families can’t say that. “I don’t wish…I was looking back on it, I just…”

Not only has he suffered the loss of soldiers, but the wars have also taken friends.

“And when you see your friend dismembered and stuff like that, it’s a lot. And it’s too much for the VA, and when they kind of start to outsource it (counseling) a little bit once again, it’s about money, right? He shares his opinion on counselors.

“Not everybody, but I would say about 65 to 75% of them, it's about money. The other 25 to 35% is about truly helping because they have a family member or someone close in their circle who is going through it. So, they really, genuinely want you to get it right.”

Does the VA Need Alternative Treatments?

“I went down to the VA, and the first thing they wanted to do was keep me full of medicine. I’m like, what am I taking this medicine for? I don’t want to take any medicine without knowing what it is., He shares.

“So, when the other counselor said, ‘Well, you said you refused medicine.’ I said, “No, I did not. I said I would like to know what it’s for before I take it.  

So, I asked for a different nurse practitioner, but they didn’t want to accommodate that request. Then, I was assigned to a lady who later resigned. I understand people get tired of soldiers; we’re the biggest babies in the world.” He says sarcastically, then adds, “I don’t say that, no, we are, but I mean we are not because that’s what we want to be.

“For me, my acknowledgement of that is you know everything I was taught as a non-spiritual man. It didn't work for the simple fact, you know, like why can't I cry if I’m hurting, or men don't do that right, and I disagree with that.

“Let your emotions out. That's the journey I’m on now. If I want to cry, I cry, you know, I told my son, 'You know, men don't do this, we don't do that, because you know we teach what we were taught.' I think what was taught back then might have been good, but it may not have been. However, the transition to each new generation is a disconnect, especially now.”

Legal Troubles and the Road to Redemption

Despite his years of service, experiences, and sacrifices, Williams’s return home wasn’t the easy transition into civilian life that he had assumed it would be. He was ecstatic about the possibilities of settling into married life and spending time with his seven children and eight grandchildren. He beams with pride as he talks about them, but also expresses regret and disappointment that his role as a grandfather hasn’t been what he hoped it would be.

Getting out of the military sometimes leads to marriages and relationships breaking down. Too often, when couples live apart, they realize they don’t know each other that well. Routines, likes, and dislikes play a pivotal role in your capability.

The End of a Marriage?

His challenging journey began with his arrest for domestic violence on February 12, 2021. Many veterans, having served in high-pressure environments, often grapple with unresolved inner struggles. For Williams, the arrest was a sudden and unexpected wake-up call. One that prompted him to make a choice: give in to the negativity, or use the experience to learn and grow. He chose the latter, recognizing that for once, he needed to prioritize his happiness and growth.

When he began to open up about his experience, he was hesitant. His legal issues have not been completely resolved, even though he spent almost three years in the county jail. According to him, one reason for the delay was that, despite everything that was happening to him, he wasn’t willing to use his wife’s actions as a “get out of jail” card.

Williams says that his situation was embarrassing and humbling, but sharing it is vital for him and other service people living through the same trauma.

He begins by acknowledging his role in the failure of his marriage. “Trouble came upon me because I had elevated my wife above God, not intentionally, but inadvertently. God had to send me on a journey for me to recognize my mistakes.” He says with conviction as he shares the obvious signs he overlooked.

“As a soldier, I retired in 2014. I was in Afghanistan. I was in Iraq. To come home and go to jail and fight for my life and freedom was something I never would have imagined.” The disappointment and disbelief in his voice are undeniable. 

“You know, one thing I did leave out earlier was the fact that all the near-death experiences I had over there, just to come back here and get locked up, you know.

“I didn’t get killed; I didn’t get shot or wounded in combat, also I know people personally who did. I came home and got stabbed and incarcerated. For me to be here, after I tried to commit suicide…I did a lot of different things.” His voice tapers off, and he’s in his thoughts for a few minutes.

Hitting Rock Bottom

There is a saying: The moment you hit rock bottom is the moment you realize God is the rock. It’s the recognition that sometimes we must go through difficult trials for God to get our attention. Even when we play a pivotal role in our downfall, we can still get back up and fight.

“I was a pressure cooker, and nobody released the pressure.” Williams shares. “As I was piling stuff in that pressure cooker from childhood to the age of 53, I was bound to burst. If I’m honest with myself, this is the best way I can describe it.”

Rebuilding Relationships

Although Williams doesn’t believe his marriage is reconcilable, he shares that his kids and grandkids are his greatest inspiration. Somberly, he adds, “I don’t get to interact with them (his grandkids) because of my oldest daughter. She has a different perspective on our relationship, so it spills over to the grandkids, which I don’t understand.” 

After further discussion, he explains that seven of his eight grandchildren are from his eldest daughter. The father and daughter were in counseling, but it’s currently at a standstill. He has no plans of giving up on his relationship with her and realizes he has to work through their father/daughter counseling at her pace.

On a brighter note, he shares fond memories of his adult children and grandchildren. In one story, he shares how, “the first time I saw her, she was about three and a half years old. I walked up to the car, and asked, “Can I talk to her? You know I always try to be polite and do the right thing. I walked up to her, and she looked at me. My son is sitting right beside her. She looked at me and said, ‘Daddy,’ she looked at her dad and went to him. My son said, ‘No, that’s my dad.’

“I started crying. I had to leave because I couldn’t. I mean, you know, the first time I see her, she goes, “Daddy. I know I’m granddaddy, but that’s how much we look alike.”

The Importance of External Support Systems

Utilizing available resources is a fundamental part of overcoming domestic violence after retiring from the army, especially counseling. These expert counselors offer a profound understanding of military backgrounds and the unique challenges veterans face upon returning home.

Joining support groups is also essential for veterans transitioning to civilian life. Having peers who share similar struggles provides accountability and a safe space to share your thoughts, fostering healing.

Another benefit of external support systems is volunteering in the community, where they can help other veterans. By engaging in service projects, Williams and other veteran volunteers rebuild their sense of purpose and a renewed sense of belonging.

Studies have shown that volunteering can reduce symptoms of depression among veterans, demonstrating the positive impact it can have.

Embracing New Opportunities

With the proper support in place, veterans can explore diverse career options that align with their interests and passions. Leaving their comfort zone allows them to learn about a variety of fields beyond military options. Rather than feeling constrained by familiar military roles, veterans like Williams follow new paths in trades, education, or even starting their own businesses.

Williams shares that transitioning from the army requires strategic planning, something he hadn’t considered. “I got out with no income, no funds, nothing. My kids did their best. Matter of fact, I've got to go with my daughter on Saturday, she's taking me to Sam’s Club.” He adds.

“I just got a good-paying job. Well, it's good paying for me because, as the saying goes, I went from making a dime to a dollar. It's not that big or great, but you know, for us, feelings-wise, that's how I reference it. I’m a driver.” He asks if I’m familiar with roll-off containers. After confirming that I am, he tells me that he is a truck driver who delivers the containers.

“Well, I had a CDL for I don’t know how long. I had a business with five trucks on the road, and you know that’s part of the equation. You see, I had five trucks. My two sons were running the business, but she (his wife) was handling the finances.”

I inquired about the business, and he shares that he returned to Georgia in 2016. Two years after he retired from the military. His involvement with the company was from 2016 to February 2021, when he was arrested.

Giving Back to the Community

Even when life is delayed, it doesn’t have to end in denial. Williams was released from jail in November 2024, after being held for two years and nine months. In January 2024, his journey with CSM Angels Refuge began.

Volunteering is always a great start to building a better future. Having an opportunity to work with an organization that provides hands-on learning and skill-building is a plus.

As Williams' journey to redemption and recovery proceeds, the veteran has learned to embrace vulnerability and self-acceptance.

In January 2024, following his release, he began his community service.

“I started doing community service in January of 2024. He’s been a blessing,” referring to Veteran Charles Jenkins, the founder of CSM Angels Refuge. “I had to do 200 hours. So, every chance I got, I did whatever he needed. I knocked out the 200 hours so quickly.”

Williams goes on to share that he believes in paying it forward. Since CSM Angels Refuge has made a tremendous impact on his life, he has committed to donating $50 a week to the non-profit. He then admits, “…realistically, it’s been about $35.”

Volunteering at CSM Angels Refuge

We discuss what he does as a volunteer for the ministry. In short, “Whatever’s necessary.”

Williams then goes on to share what it means to be available and willing to help when needed.

“We have to pick up people and personnel. I do that. I pick up furniture to help people get back on their feet. They get blessed by having a roof over their head. People donate the furniture, and I go pick that up. I participate in food drives and have also organized a tent drive. We do whatever it takes to help those experiencing homelessness.

What motivated you to volunteer with CSM Angels Refuge?

“As a result of the trouble I got into, I had to do community service. I wasn’t homeless, but I was jobless and penniless. My kids were helping me the best they could, and a lady from the state gave me Mr. Jenkins’ number. That’s how I got started with the CSM Angels Refuge organization.

Recovering from hardships that strip you of your income is not a straight path. Williams understands that his setbacks are simply part of the process. Fortifying his resilience and finding joy in new experiences became vital on his road to redemption.

By not giving up, new opportunities began to surface. In addition to reconnecting with family and building new friendships, Williams has enriched his life and renewed his hope for a brighter future.

A Day in the Life of a CSM Angel

On May 27th, CSM hosted a community food giveaway in partnership with New Presbyterian Church. Mr. Williams has served as a volunteer for many of their events over the past year. The drive garnered a larger-than-normal turnout.

“I drove a box truck to get all the stuff from one of our major donors. It was initially stated that they were only donating four pallets. It turned out that I was picking up 22 pallets.”

In the past, the company donated about ten. Coupled with the fact that it stormed that day, Williams and other volunteers had their work cut out for them.

He continues, “Then, the pallet jack malfunctioned, and I had to jump off the back of the truck while it was still running.”  Luckily, no one was injured in the incident.” I was saying, thank you, Lord.” Williams says, still frazzled by the experience.”

Despite the rain, an estimated 700 people were served. That’s a blessing and demonstrates the fantastic work CSM Angels Refuge is doing through community partnerships.

After delivering the donations, Williams also volunteered as a server. “Yes, even in the rain. He (Mr. Jenkins) said he was coming. Then I went and cleaned up everything after the fact, you know, picked up our trash, and took his tents down.”

In addition to the food giveaways, Williams also delivers furniture and other items when the organization receives donations for veterans who have found housing.

“Yes, I’m actually the main deliverer for them. I went as far as Rome, Georgia, once. He's not only serving the metro (Atlanta) area. Sometimes the veterans get a place far out, and I'll deliver it for them.”

When asked if he had developed relationships with any other unhoused veterans, and what that looks like, he replies, “Yes.”

“I give them my number in case they need anything. I would go pick them up, on my time, and if they're hungry, I'll feed them. God has blessed me to the point where if I don't have it, but people are in need, He allows me or Mr. Jenkins to come across stuff, and we make it happen.”

Addressing the Veteran Homeless Crisis

The homeless population in Atlanta is pretty significant. However, in its effort to reduce homelessness among veterans, Atlanta’s VA Health System permanently housed 803 veterans in 2024.

Homelessness doesn’t discriminate. It impacts people from all walks of life. Homeless veterans stand out to many people because of their service to our country. The impact of transitioning back to civilian life impacts a diverse range of people. My next question for Williams deals with recurring homelessness among veterans.        

I’m curious to know if the people they encounter are a diverse range of people. Or if he finds, for the most part, that the veterans they’ve helped may be doing well for a few months, and then six months down the line, they're homeless again?

“A couple. A lot of people won’t necessarily put it on substance abuse. It is part of it, don’t get me wrong, but mental illness, in my opinion, is more of a culprit than substance abuse. Substance abuse comes from trying to wash the problems away.

For instance, I still have nightmares and things from the war. You know, I've lost people on several different occasions. I want to have a drink sometimes, but I don’t because that’s not going to fix anything. If anything, it adds to the problem.”

Mr. Williams speaks of a veteran he’s met on his journey. “He and I were having a good two-way communication then I lost touch, so I called Mr. Jenkins.

Later, Mr. Jenkins called me. I was hungry, so I went down there and talked to him. We just sat there and talked, and we both cried. You know, I haven’t heard from him (referring to the veteran) since.”

Aside from the work that Williams is doing with Mr. Jenkins, I’m curious to know if he has other opportunities to work with unhoused veterans.

“I reach out, and you know I don’t tell Mr. Jenkins too often, but I sometimes ride downtown to some of the homeless spots. They are now cleaning up downtown. They had the police put them all in a church. Sorry, I can’t remember the name of the church.

“When they did that, they broke down all the tents and bulldozed the area. I’m like, ‘Oh man, where are they going?’

What Does the Future Hold?

Williams hasn’t given up on his dream of being an entrepreneur. He and his uncle, by marriage, are “going to be helping homeless veterans through a nonprofit they want to start. “It’s going to be faith-based.”

He further explains that he “sold all my trucks and everything.” Referring to the business he had with his sons. “Now I have several trucks back, but I have to fix them. I’m just evaluating and taking my time.”

Reflections: Transitioning to Civilian Life

Reflecting on Gary Williams’s story offers insights to others facing similar challenges. His road to redemption is a personal journey that he shares in the hope of helping someone else. By doing so, he has demonstrated courage, resilience, and support for other veterans. His story also emphasizes the importance of seeking help and supportive connections.

Transitioning to civilian life is complex. Change requires commitment and support, but it is within reach. With the right mindset and resources, any veteran can reclaim their life, ultimately leading to personal growth and rewarding relationships.

Transitioning from military life to civilian life can be incredibly challenging, particularly after dedicating three decades to service. Many veterans face significant adjustments, emotional challenges, and unexpected setbacks, including legal issues following a domestic violence incident.

Prepare for Your Transition

After 30 years in the military, life revolves around a strict routine defined by the Army. When this structure dissolves, many veterans struggle to find their footing. For Gary Williams, the transition was challenging due to circumstances outside of his life in the Army.  

The military instills discipline and a sense of responsibility. Once that identity as a "soldier" is removed, retirees often confront a crisis of identity. They know their role in the military, but not in the home. It’s common for them to wonder who they are without the uniform and the direction of their superiors. This feeling of emotional uncertainty can be exposed when negative situations arise. For Williams and other veterans, it can lead to their arrest and years in jail.

The adjustment period can be challenging if they are not adequately prepared. After leaving the service, Gary Williams faced unexpected challenges in his marriage that led to frustrations, a reported domestic violence incident, and incarceration.

This event underscored a critical issue: mental health. Marital problems can cause people to react irrationally. According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, about 20% of veterans experience PTSD. Recognizing when you’re entering a mental health crisis is a crucial step to de-escalation.

The Road to Recovery

In the wake of his arrest, Williams chose to confront his problems head-on. He realized that he had to accept responsibility for his actions. The first step to recovery is often admitting there’s an issue.

He sought help. Counseling offered him the chance to unpack trauma he didn’t realize he was carrying into his civilian life. Studies show that when military veterans receive counseling, their mental health outcomes improve, highlighting its effectiveness. Here are some strategies for a successful transition.

Therapy and Counseling

Therapy is vital for veterans adjusting to civilian life. It offers a safe space to express emotions and learn coping strategies for anger, depression, or anxiety linked to their military experiences.

Group therapy specifically designed for veterans offers numerous benefits. Sharing struggles with peers fosters camaraderie, reminding individuals they are not alone.

Finding New Purpose

As Williams progressed through therapy, he worked on rediscovering his purpose. In the military, service members often have clear objectives, but civilian life can feel disjointed and overwhelming.

To regain meaning, Williams found purpose by volunteering with CSM Angels Refuge. The group's primary focus is assisting homeless veterans who have secured permanent housing. This not only allowed Williams to contribute to the community but also helped him build new friendships—connections that he missed after leaving the military.

Engage in Physical Fitness

Physical fitness is essential for maintaining mental and emotional well-being. Veterans should adopt a regular workout routine. Engaging in physical activity elevates your mood and can significantly decrease symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, and depression.

Building Stronger Relationships

Rebuilding relationships with family and friends is crucial for the journey to redemption and recovery. Williams seems happiest when he is discussing his children and grandchildren. Realizing he needed to make amends, he reached out to his family to restore their trust in him.

Family Counseling

Family counseling proves a valuable resource for all parties, but especially for Williams.

He admits that counseling with his eldest daughter didn’t go as planned, but he’s not giving up on trying to restore the relationship.

Agreeing to counseling means being vulnerable. Both parties must demonstrate a willingness to confront their past. Through sincere communication and apologies, they can begin repairing the trust they’ve lost. It also helps the parties involved understand one another’s perspectives. Participating in sessions created a safe space for open discussion about the emotional turmoil they experienced.

This process not only resolves conflicts but also nurtures healing within the entire family unit.

Embracing a New Mindset

Shifting your mindset is essential for recovery. Williams is learning how to define success and self-worth outside of his military accomplishments.

By incorporating techniques such as prayer and volunteering into his routine, his views on his personal life began to shift. He also learned that these practices helped him engage with his emotions constructively, guiding his personal growth and enabling him to overcome many of his challenges.

Setting Goals

With a solid support system and positive habits in place, Williams began setting personal objectives. Whether it was completing daily tasks for himself or performing acts of service by volunteering to help other veterans.

Educational Opportunities

Education can significantly alter your journey. Veterans can enroll in vocational training programs and community college courses.

Investing in education not only provides structure but also positions them to contribute to their community, thereby enhancing their self-esteem and sense of purpose.

Finding Community Support

Local resources can be invaluable during the transition to civilian life. Support groups and veteran outreach programs offer advice and companionship during challenging times.

Williams utilized these resources, connecting with a non-profit to assist other veterans facing similar struggles. These interactions allowed him to view his experience as part of a collective journey, emphasizing that redemption and recovery are often a shared endeavor.

The Importance of Patience

Throughout the process, Williams learned that his journey is a gradual and time-consuming process. It is rarely a linear journey, but it comes with both highs and lows.

Some days felt overwhelming; however, he understood that any small step forward is still progress. Each new day presented an opportunity to build on the prior day’s efforts.

A Transformative Journey

The transition from the Army to civilian life is a complex process, especially after 30 years of military service. What began as a painful incident for Williams evolved into a powerful catalyst for change. Through therapy, personal growth, and community support, he has set forth on a path of self-discovery.

As he rebuilds his life, his experience exemplifies resilience and commitment to positive change. This story serves as a reminder that, while the road may be challenging, new beginnings can emerge from even the darkest moments.

Redemption and recovery are not only possible but also attainable. With determination, support, and an openness to change, brighter days are on the horizon.

Each Path to Redemption is Worth Every Step

Adjusting to civilian life after 30 years in the military is challenging, especially when facing turbulent situations like legal issues or violence. Gary Williams’s story not only highlights homelessness amongst veterans but also domestic violence claims after the soldiers leave the army. His journey demonstrates how vital it is to seek help, explore new opportunities, and maintain mental health throughout recovery.

It reminds us of the importance of having organizations like CSM Angels Refuge in the fight to alleviate homelessness among veterans. If Gary Williams’s story moved you or the story of other veterans we’ve profiled, please consider donating today.

To learn more, visit CSM Angels Refuge. Donations are tax-deductible.